Giving birth or being with a partner who is giving birth is certainly one of the most profound experiences in life. We know that skin to skin contact with our new child is important right after their birth, and a heart to heart connection feels easy; it just flows. But life is hard, and often, little by little, we lose some of that heart to heart connection. Our children then learn that others are external to them. They are alone in many ways.

Parenting is a difficult job. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by life. Meeting material needs, managing difficult relationships, dealing with the fears of a world that feels dangerous. It's so easy to become absorbed by these concerns, sometimes leaving little room for spending time re-connecting with our children. And if we have children with Autism, Level 1, we might feel fragmented over how to provide the care they need. Children with Autism, Level 1, require us to re-evaluate how people should behave toward one another, societal expectations, and what we've learned children need. And while we're re-learning these things, it's important to keep returning to why we're doing it. We're re-learning what our children need because we love them. And while our children may understand this as they get older, throughout their lifetimes they need time with us, spent nurturing that heart to heart connection, in direct ways. Hearing what's important to them, hearing about their experiences, hearing about what they're learning about the world around them. Spending time just doing things they enjoy with them, showing affection, showing unconditional love. All these are ways we can keep returning to our heart to heart connection with our children. And they need this. We need this.

And of course it's not just children that need this. Throughout our lifetimes, we all need heart to heart connections. Family, marriages, partnerships all teach us about ourselves. You can't live with someone without being who you really are, flaws and all. This gets reflected back to us by the people we live with over time. We might live with a lot of confusion when we wonder how we get these people to see things our way. It can take time to understand that the problems that come up aren't always one sided, but relational. The chemistry that happens between two or more people. Realizing this, and doing our part by examining what we bring to our relationships, can be a meaningful way to show heart to heart connections with our loved ones. The willingness to learn and grow in our relationships shows deep respect for those who are important to us.

The task then, becomes thinking about our emotional energy. Who gets it, and how much do they get? Does it go to people or situations due to fear, or to responsibilities that aren't really ours? Does it go to measures of self-worth that feel hollow as we get older? Does it go to parenting ideals established by others, that don't support our childrens' feelings of value and worth? Having control over where our emotional energy goes frees us up to nurture our heart to heart connections with our children, with the people we love. And the love we receive in return can feel priceless.